


It's A Dog's Life

by literarypeachtea



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Also I suppose this could take place whenever, Also Malcolm is a big softie I know it, I wrote this just after finishing S1 bc I needed something happy, I'm pretty sure all beagles would talk about is food, If dogs could talk..., Just a short cute morning in the life, Porthos is A Very Good Boy, You can't tell me he's not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:27:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23851555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literarypeachtea/pseuds/literarypeachtea
Summary: The Enterprise is very lucky to have Porthos on board.
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	It's A Dog's Life

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with my dad, whereupon I informed him of the beagle in Star Trek: Enterprise, and he asked what the beagle did.  
> Clearly, he runs the ship.

Porthos takes his job very seriously.  
Each morning, he makes sure Captain Archer did not die in his sleep. He does this by sticking his cold nose in the man’s face.  
If he doesn’t wake after that, Porthos barks, just to make sure Archer’s hearing is still working.  
Normally, the beagle doesn’t even have to sneeze in the man’s face.  
“All right, all right. Here’s your breakfast,” Archer usually says, setting down a full bowl of kibble. Porthos’ nose is in the bowl before it hits the ground. As the dog inhales the food, the man gets dressed for the day.  
By the time he’s lacing up his boots, Porthos is at his side, the dog’s whole back half wiggling as he wags his tail.  
It’s time to make their rounds! And smell all the new smells!  
The pair walk into the hall and start down a corridor. Each morning, they take the same, circuitous route: torpedo bay, sickbay, engineering, hydroponics and then, Porthos’ favorite place in the whole entire ship, aside from his bed — mess hall.  
When he’s walking with Archer, Porthos is well behaved: Head held high, keeping pace with the captain, sitting and waiting patiently when they have to take the turbolift.  
Hoshi Sato, who often volunteers to walk the diminutive hound, would tell quite a different story.

***

The sharp scent of oil and gunpowder greets Porthos in the armory. As Archer chats with the crewman on duty, the pup waits in the corridor. He greets passing crew members with a thumping tail and head tilt. In response, they often coo at him, or at least smile.  
Sometimes the beagle thinks he’s the only thing holding this starship together.

***

Porthos smells the Pyrithian bat the moment his paws enter sickbay. He stands on his hind legs to reach the counter, sniffing as Phlox gives Archer an update on procuring Regulan bloodworms.  
The dog must be a little too close to the bat’s cage, because Archer scoops him up right as Porthos tries to touch noses with the bat.  
The captain sets the dog down after they leave the area, and he kneels to address him.  
“What did I tell you about bothering Phlox’s pets?”  
Porthos whines. He wasn’t going to eat the bat…he just wanted to say hi.

***

As the captain steps into engineering, Porthos darts in front of him, making a bee-line for Trip. He puts his front paws on the man’s leg, nudging his hand with a wet nose.  
“Mornin’, buddy,” drawls the engineer, giving the dog a scratch under his chin. “Mornin’, Captain.”  
As Trip and Archer discuss engine repairs, Porthos surveys the area from the upper section.  
“Sir, why is the dog up there?” asks a crewman after coming face-to-face with Porthos.  
“He likes to be tall,” replies Trip.  
Porthos huffs.

***  
On the way to hydroponics, the pair crosses paths with T’Pol, who informs the captain they are approaching a Minshara class planet.  
Porthos sits, staring up at her intently. She doesn’t like him, and he can’t figure out why.  
As she turns to walk away, she glances at the small furry animal, and her nose twitches.  
He twitches his own nose back.  
They’re more alike than they think.

***

Finally! Despite his training, Porthos can barely contain his excitement, charging straight into the mess hall when Archer opens the door. The hound goes right to work, nose to the ground, trying to find any and all crumbs, pieces or molecules of food that may have fallen.  
Archer always hopes — in vain — that Porthos will be too tired from their long, circuitous morning walk to cause any trouble in the mess hall.  
Porthos sniffs, weaving around crew carrying trays of food, before he catches a familiar smell. He knows that person, and more importantly, he knows they will sneak him a bite of bacon, or maybe some cheese.  
He sets his chin on their thigh and stares up with big, sad eyes.  
“Well, good morning, Porthos,” Hoshi says, reaching down to stroke the beagle’s silky ears. He licks his chops, smelling the bacon on her breath.  
And, just his luck, the communications officer is sitting with one of his other favorite mess hall companions. After eagerly scarfing down the morsel of bacon Hoshi slips him, he sniffs around the chair beside her.  
Malcolm Reed, engrossed in his reading, often fails to notice when a piece of food falls to the floor from his fork. Porthos appreciates this greatly, often curling up on the armory officer’s feet, a prime spot to catch stray bites. Malcolm notices the familiar weight on his boots, and smiles, perhaps letting a couple more pieces of his breakfast tumble than normal.  
The dog contentedly munches on half a sausage that made its way to him.  
Porthos sure does appreciate having a fellow Englishman on the ship.

***

Back in the captain’s quarters, Archer gives the dog a final pat on the head before he leaves for the bridge.  
“Keep an eye on things, OK?”  
Porthos barks solemnly.  
This ship is lucky to have him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure Porthos is the best-trained beagle to ever have graced space, but he's still a beagle, after all. This was inspired by my own very good, albeit not as restrained, beagle.


End file.
